I’ve been getting these pains the last couple of days, across my chest. They kind of feel like they’re on the surface, my ribs, muscles maybe. They could be the natural result of too many butterfly presses at the gym the other day. I guess. I couldn’t tell you. I can’t be totally sure. It’d be nice if I had a device, a gauge like on the propane tank of our grill, marked off with: no worries/wait a second/call the doc/buhbye.
I’ve told my cardiologist about the pains on occasion. He stops for a second, silent. He turns to me and asks: “where’re the pains?” “Across my chest, kind of on the surface.” “Oh, the surface, that’s okay.” Okay? They’re okay. Okay. There are okay pains.
I seem to get more pain when I inhale. Or maybe it’s upon exertion? The last time I complained of pain upon exertion they unzipped me like a duffel bag and rewired my innards… But then maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s normal. If only they outfitted me with an early warning system…
Ding! Ding! Ding!